Carrot Can
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One Finger, Two Fingers, Three Fingers Five: Redefining Friendship
This is being written in the first person by Hunter on one of his most lucid days Some time ago a professional associate and I were having coffee when the subject of relationships arose, as was often the case with our jobs. I recall at some point early in our conversation we began to attempt … Continue reading
FEATURED ...
Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night. ~Woody Allen Ah wish ah kud kwit yew. ~From, Brokeback Mountain (Carrot is hooked on phonics) Carrot Can … offer an observation: If you believe your Sexual Orientation is ‘Bisexual’, then you are in sexual identity denial. You are living [sic] a lie. Wake … Continue reading
‘Moved above…’? Seriously? Occasionally, there is an article or an essay or a collection of thoughts pieced together that piques the interest of Carrot. Such is the essay below. The piece was sent to me by a learned friend of my human, Hunter. The author of the essay is unknown. What Carrot has inferred, from … Continue reading
One fabulous, sun drenched afternoon Carrot’s human, Hunter, attempted to explain an interesting and complex aspect of human behaviour: denial. Carrot Can and Will … consider the fascinating information Hunter imparted about yet another human foible, allowing Carrot the pleasure of further vegetative analysis. It is no secret, Carrot contends, that the two major progenitors … Continue reading
Carrot Can and Will … venture to say that many people believe one is a little odd if one speaks to oneself, and stark raving mad if one hears a voice and then one begins a conversation with that voice. But many people purportedly hear their god’s voice and they respond as if He or She … Continue reading
The World’s Top Ten of Most Polluted Places Carrot refuses to wait any longer. Here is the list of our planet’s most polluted hot spots. For detailed, and Carrot strongly and imploringly urges you to read this powerful yet disconcerting information — if not for your own benefit, then for the benefit and well-being of … Continue reading
Carrot Considers ...
- Bridge is a lot like sex: If you don't have a good partner, You'd better have a good hand. (Carrot has no idea about that of which my human, Hunter, speaks. Also, Carrot does not believe bridge, sex, an admirable appendage and 2 Trumps, whether yea or nay, are not at all relevant to each other. Hunter appears to be over-lobotomized. Or under-medicated.)
- ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Carrot wishes Hunter a H A P P Y B I R T H D A Y this day, along with all others who were sprouted on this date! ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
- Forgiveness is giving up the hope that the past could have been any different.
- Carrot is conflicted. Carrot wants to write, but doesn't feel like writing. "Want" and Feel" are the same, or can be if the verb is used with an object. I hope want and feel will have no bad feelings toward Carrot in the morning. "Want and "Feel" are close enough in context to have identical meanings; therefore, Carrot is conflicted. How does one want one thing and not feel like wanting it at the same time? Carrot desperately needs a dehydrator (aka a 'shrink' in human terms).
- Carrot Can and Will ... Consider a lesson in humility, awe and wonder. At the exact instant the first cell of life divides into two cells, Life and Death begin. Instantly. Simultaneously. At the same immeasurably brief point in time life starts its remarkable journey as it begins to age and die. Linked one to the other. This is science fact. Certainly no less important, it is also one of the Mysteries. Death and Life refusing to exist one without the other.
- ...come charging down Carrot's furrow because Carrot reads one of her headlines, doesn't like it and then changes it? Again. And again. Carrot feels this is something of a cheat because editing is so accessible and easy. Tidbits, Carrot needs input.
- Carrot was basking in the glorious hot Summer sun, listening to the voices coming from the television set as they lazily floated through the humans open kitchen window. Suddenly Carrot heard the eerie, nasal, twanging voice of The Idiot Who Wandered Away From His Village In Texas, George Dubya Bush. Carrot soon realized the voice was using polysyllabic words. Clearly this wasn't Dubya, it was the Reverend Governor Rick "Pretty Boy" Perry. He can say big words by himself. Carrot is remembering that Sarah Palin uses big words too, but only after they've been written out for her in finger paints syllable by syllable. This has become surreal, even for a carrot who has yet to have an original thought. As suddenly as it began, the voice ceased. Carrot suspects it was a Sun demon, a very bad dream occurring while laying beneath a brilliant, hot Summer sun.
- Words Can ... ... impress ... express ... depress ... be used in excess Choose your words carefully. Or not.
